the rambling missionary

by erika haveman

Do you ever get overwhelmed by choices? People say that millenials have more choice than any other generation, and often they let those choices paralyze them. You see so many adults in their early 20s and 30s taking a long time to settle down. I’m probably a poster child for this, my reality regularly being a slew of choices yet it takes me a while to make any decision.

Presently my reality is offering me two choices. These choices, however, feel vastly different compared to when options were presented to me in the past. It’s not the choices that are all that different, though. I think it’s the perspective I have on the choices.  In the past my default was to say yes to every option, rarely thinking or praying about anything. The flip side of decision making was to keep putting off making a choice in hopes that God would offer my a clear spark of inspiration that made it so evident that I was making the “right” choice for my future.  As young Christian adults I think the waiting on God presents a different element to our decision making. We get caught up in thinking that if we make the wrong choice we might miss God’s call on our lives and screw it up forever. Let me be the first one to say it: That’s dumb.

I once had a friend suggest to me that he was afraid that he would make a wrong choice and miss the perfect woman that God had created for him to marry. He wondered if he would one day get to heaven and then be shown, by God, all of the great opportunities that he’d missed out on, including the perfect woman.

I thought this was ridiculous then, and I think it’s ridiculous now.

This summer I’ve been leading a small group of teenagers in how to study their Bibles.  Together we’ve studied through the book of Philemon, and by next week we’ll have also studied through Ephesians. Last week our discussion led us to talk about Ephesians 1:3-6 (for about an hour, I might add!)  Of course conversation by Reformers surrounding those verses is generally about predestination and what that means. It’s easy to get caught up in what we want a passage to say.  I would like to suggest that it doesn’t have so much to do with being a clear case for God choosing “some” people (as those “some” people would like to think) as much as it has to do with being clear that God is sovereign.

“…he chose us in Him before the foundations of the world…for adoption as sons through Christ Jesus…”  I will never be able to explain to you who, specifically, God has chosen, so I don’t want to focus on that right now. Rather I want us to consider the when of the choosing. The “before the foundations of the world” part. Now that’s something incredible. I think it’s also relevant when it comes to making decisions.

On Sunday morning I was pondering this passage as I simultaneosly considered the choices set before me.  I envisioned two very distinct paths going in slightly opposite directions of each other, yet I couldn’t see the end of either. It was then that I felt that God was telling me that it’s easy for me to just see what I think are the only two options.  As He spoke I saw a third path forge between the two, working its way in the same direction. It became evident to me in that moment that it’s not so much about making a wrong or right choice as much as it is about simply making a choice.  The point of the third pathway appearing out of nowhere was to show me what I think are my choices are only ever in line with God’s all knowing self. As I submit myself to His sovereignty, He will define the road that I’m walking on. It’s not about choosing a road less travelled; it’s about letting God blaze the trail for you.

Have you ever blazed a brand new trail?  I have – with the help of my father – on a fair few occasions. I will always and forever embrace opportunity to work in the bush, even more so if it’s with my dad. But let me tell you, it’s no easy feat! When you first begin it’s daunting, with trees and brush rising high above your head. You get sliced on the arms with sharp blades of tall grass, you get callouses on your hands and splinters in your fingers. You’re often so overwhelmed that you feel like giving up, wondering if the trail is even worth creating. Once when my dad and I were in the midst of blazing a particularly long trail I spoke to him in frustration saying, “If I was a pioneer woman I would never have to do this!” He so smartly responded by saying, “Yes you would; and you’d have a baby on your back.” He was probably right. He usually is.

The point is, however, that blazing a trail is hard work enough as it is. Doing it on your own is even harder work. What I think God was reminding me of on the weekend was His sovereignty and how this affects trailblazing. All of a sudden it’s not about making the right or the wrong choice; it’s about moving forward trusting that the path will appear.  It’s not to say that choices shouldn’t be made.  It’s to say that you make a choice and see where it goes.  If God doesn’t want you to move forward with something, He’ll make that evident.  He’ll close doors.  On the other hand, if God has something for you to learn through a choice, He’ll allow you to move forward and graciously teach you how to rest your weary feet after you’ve been walking for too long.

“…before the foundations of the world…”  What once we thought lost will only ever found in the hands of God. We’ll always be in that place, whether we’re stepping forward onto a new trail or not.  It’s never a new trail to God. He’s blazing it, and He sees the end.  We’ll get scrapes. Sometimes a branch might whack us on the face.  We’ll get calloused feet.  We’ll scream until our throats hurt because we don’t know where we’re going.  It will all be okay because we’ll learn from the wounds as God soaks them, bandages them, and gently heals them.
He’s the best trailblazer I know, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.