{part 2 of 2} Is Motherhood a Calling?

by erika haveman

Hopefully I didn’t leave you last week all in a dither (I’m reading Little Women for the first time, so my inner voice is sounding very 1800s-ish as of late), but hopefully I left you with something to contemplate. I attempted to answer my initial, simple, question of whether or not motherhood is a calling. No calling is elevated over another, and yes motherhood (and fatherhood) are in fact callings that God places on people’s lives. We can say this with confidence because Genesis 1 has outlined for us the call (or mandate or expectation, choose your word) God offered to those who know they are created in His image. One thing I didn’t stress last week is that your calling is not your identity. A dear, sweet friend reminded me of this truth and I thought I best reiterate it here to avoid confusion. Now that’s settled, I want to consider together the other question I proposed:

How often do we really consider the expectations God has for us for the season that we’re in?

Somebody once said to me that when we know we’re called to something we’re going to have the ability, strength, endurance, and excitement to power through. I might add, however, you may not always have all of those things quite at once.

As I had wrestled (and wrestled and wrestled) with whether or not motherhood was a calling I realized that I was mostly wrestling with my own position and present lot in life. I was clear to mention last week, and I stand by the words that I have no qualms with where I’m at in life regardless of my “ticking clock.” I also mentioned that being unmarried “in this season” is something I do feel called by God to do.

You see different seasons will hold different things. Working in jobs that are completely weather dependent has made me very aware of differing seasons over the past couple of years. You can’t open a ski hill if there’s no snow or cold enough temperatures to make the snow. You can’t boil sap to make syrup if the weather is so warm that the sap doesn’t run. You can’t grow lettuce and strawberries if the rains don’t come down. Last year it was a month of cool and rain that drenched things early on that also brought a frost that killed hundreds of plants. This year is weeks of heat and gusting winds that are drying out crops before they have a chance to bud. None of it is within human control, but is completely dependent on the sovereignty of God.

Why should seasons in our lives look any different? To further the question, though, why should my winter look harder than your summer? Or your spring more challenging than my fall? All seasons hold something different, and we ought not to compare and say, “my storm is greater than yours!” as if to expect more sympathy, charity, and mercy than the next kind soul.

I know none of us do this, me least of all (note the sarcasm). How does this relate to our callings?

Well just as seasons change and differ, so our callings will seem more or less relevant depending on the season of life we’re in. I do hope that some day in my future there will be a season of babies wailing and cooing, messes I never hoped for and the yearly breakfast bed I choke down through tears of gratefulness; there’ll be yelling I promised myself I’d never have to do and gentle caresses that I never thought I’d be tender enough to give. It amazes and excites me that someday my heart may calm down enough to settle into a life of waking, feeding, cleaning, chasing, cooking, cleaning, chasing, and sleeping just to start the cycle over (and yes, I noticed the discrepancy of this cycle that my apparent family only gets to eat twice).

When it comes to our calling and the season we find ourselves in we need to remember something of the utmost importance. The littlest of secrets will help us through all the ups and downs, the tears of joy and sorrow, the smiles and frowns. Having the right perspective is the one that will save us on the hardest, most awful, utterly mortifying days of our lives. Be patient with me while I bunny trail (but don’t worry, we’ll get back to the main path) and quote Jeremiah for just a moment:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”

I’m about to get a little bit passionate-Bible-nerd on you. Ever since I’ve started studying the Bible this has probably been, to me, the most frustratingly misquoted verse of all time.

Jeremiah is in my top 5 books. Somebody once asked me if I could only read 5 books of the Bible for the rest of my life what they would be. Jeremiah was quick to be on my tongue. Jeremiah was a fascinating guy. His job as a prophet to Judah was to warn the people over and over and OVER that they were being disobedient, and if they kept it up they’d go into exile to suffer for their bad choices. God’s people didn’t quite listen, so they were carried off to Babylon with fishhooks in their noses and chains on their feet. In Jeremiah 29 it says that Jeremiah wrote this letter [the passage of Jeremiah 29] to survivors in Babylon. They were told, to quote Paul, “to fulfill the calling to which you’ve been called.” What was that call? Jer. 29: 6 says, “take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons , and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters and multiply there and do not decrease.” What does this sound like? “Be fruitful and multiply.” Hmmm…interesting…what else does the inspired man of God suggest God’s people do? “Build houses and live in them. Plant gardens and eat their produce.” These words from Jer. 29:5 sound awfully like, “Fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion,” do they not? Hmm…how interesting. What makes all of this especially of interest is the fact that after the people had increased and subdued (fulfilled their calling) they weren’t supposed to stay in Babylon. They were called back to the life God always intended for them. He insisted they return to the “calling to which they’d been called.” In Jeremiah 29:10 it says, “When seventy years are completed in Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place [Jerusalem].” So it seems that after a season (a long, challenging, new season) of hardship, where calling was not to be rejected or forgotten in the slightest, God opened up doors to allow the people to continue in the other responsibilities (callings) He offered them to further His kingdom.

The harsh reality of God’s timing in this story, however, is that a lot of people never saw Jerusalem again. The people were trailed away in their shameful line as prisoners, and though they settled in Babylon (which undertook a change of leadership as Persia became the ruling entity) many also died there. Those who had heard that God was going to give them a great hope, a great future because He had great plans for them to prosper…well those people died.

So as to not leave you on that hopeless note I will circle back to the secret I hinted at earlier. Are you ready for it?

Lean in a little closer…

Strain your eyes just a little more…

Your breath, I know, is caught in your chest…

The secret?

Life is not about you.

Ahhh….okay. Relief, right?

What I mean to say is this: when I’m living for myself, my calling, my talents, my giftings – all of which are well and good and God given – I’m looking a little to much at “me.” If I’m looking at “me” and read Jeremiah 29:11 then I expect to see all things to work out in my life time, for my spouse, my kids, my home, my family, my friends… But this is not the promise God made. The promise He made was that He was going to restore all that was broken. He promised to make new things from the old. He promised to create a way out of death and into life. For the Israelites in the Old Testament this was all very physical. “Do this and be blessed,” and “do that and be cursed,” was their reality. Our reality is Jesus. Our reality is awaiting the coming King again in a blaze of glory to fulfill His promise of the future and the hope. He is the future and the hope; not your new house or your 3rd child or your successful career or your good husband.

So whatever season you find yourself in, I encourage you to keep your eyes on Him, keep your feet firmly planted in the Word, and keep your hands from becoming idle by serving the people (spouse, babies, parents, friends, strangers – whoever!) God has specifically called you to grow and serve and love and selflessly lay down your life for. You keep reflecting Him every day of every season of your life by constantly walking confidently in the callings He has you meandering between.

He is the plan worth following, the prosperity worth having, the future worth looking towards, and the hope worth holding onto.