by erika haveman
After last week’s post I’m sure you all love me like some warm, fuzzy, cuddly pet that you don’t ever want to get rid of. Right? Maybe not since I kind of suggested the “what if” of potentially never getting to be fulfilled when it comes to sexual desire. I don’t mean to bring down the house, I just want us all to consider if we’re willing to do hard things in order to make the name of Jesus great. If we are, great! Jesus promised it wouldn’t be easy and that the world will hate you for following Him (John 15:18-25). When it comes to sexuality in our culture this becomes an especially high calling because hey, I’m here to tell you what so many Christian leaders, speakers, Pastors, parents, writers, teachers etc…have told you before: you should wait until marriage to have sex! YAY! SO FUN! Okay…maybe not. But let’s just be real.
Goodness, I know you all probably really dislike me right about now. And that’s fine. Dislike me. But don’t think I’m holier than you or way better at exercising self control. On both counts you would be sorely mistaken. But I want to journey with you in exploring Biblical truths surrounding this topic – and maybe, just maybe, get our eyes off of our desires and get them to Jesus. Not get rid of desire. I didn’t say that. And for the record, I hope all of you out there get the things you hope for and desire. God does give good gifts! Don’t ever get me wrong on that one.
The reality is that we want our desires to manifest themselves. And not just the sexual ones, because we have way more good desires than just sex. We make wishes on stars and throw our hopes away in the form of pennies into fountains and write letters to Santa and pray earnest prayers (okay, maybe you don’t do the Santa thing…anymore). We hope and rely on the truth that God is faithful to who He has made us to be because He is faithful to Himself (2 Tim. 2:13) and His word never returns void (Isaiah 55:10-11).
Scripture is the only total truth I have. I don’t have to explain that the Bible is the only infallible truth, because calling truth infallible is just repeating the reality of its definition. You may also feel like this “series” is lacking in the whole grace department. Look, I understand grace, but I also understand discipline. Often grace looks like discipline, and it is often that discipline is an expression of grace. So here we go. We’re starting with Genesis and we’re going to make our way through the entire Bible (yes, this literally means over a year on this topic). Ready? Let’s do this!
Genesis 1:27 & 2:18 – “So God created man in his own image, i the image of God he created him, male and female he created them… Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
I’m starting with the basics. Why? To show you that from the beginning God had created male and female – two different beings – and that they were meant to be together. This was God’s way of defining who should be a part of the marriage covenant. How so? Gen. 1:28-30 talks about the purpose of what the male and female should do. You could also refer to my post on whether or not motherhood is a calling. Now I won’t pretend that marriage is the focus of these verses because it’s not. In fact, some might argue that because marriage isn’t mentioned we don’t need to be married, in the traditional & Biblical sense, to be fruitful and multiply. If two people love each other and want to procreate outside of marriage, why shouldn’t that be okay? Sure, I’ll give you that. But I can’t just take one part of the Word without considering the rest of it, because the whole of Scripture is God breathed and should, as an entirety, be useful for teaching (2 Tim. 3:16). This is why we’re spending over a year on this topic. Each book builds of the others. Iron sharpens iron. So what I can give you in this passage is that it takes a male and a female to be fruitful and multiply. Biologically, sexually, physically that is how God created people. Bringing together a man and a woman physically is how a baby is created. That is the only way. You need something from a man and something from a woman. A man and a man will never, on their own, create life, nor will a woman and a woman. This is clear in this passage.
To take a minute now to pause on the whole 2 people and marriage thing. Throughout the Old Testament we see God’s chosen men have, if not more than 1 wife, another woman he procreates with that is not his wife. Adam seems to be faithful to Eve (Gen. 4:1,24)and Noah seems to only have one wife (Gen. 7:7), but definitely by Abram there’s more than one woman in the picture. However much Sarai is Abram’s beloved and though he is certainly faithful to her, another woman is brought into the picture. Recognize two things here:
- Sarai is the one who suggests Abram sleep with Hagar. (Gen. 16:1-4) Does this make Abram an unfaithful husband? We could dwell there, but I’m really not convinced that’s the issue in this story. The issue is a lack of trust in God’s promise that He would make Abram a great nation (Gen. 12:1-3). Of course, this doesn’t justify what Abram and Sarai did to hurt their marriage (read the rest of Gen. 16 for Sarai’s reaction; it proves that it was a flawed human proposition and not from the LORD), but we can realize that God was doing more here. Which gets me to the next point.
- He was trying to build a nation from one man. He wasn’t going to let that happen on a man’s terms. Sarai’s pressures and Abram’s choice were human because yes the people in the Bible, even God’s chosen people, were fallible. They make decisions that went against God. As obvious as that is, I need to stress that point. As much as the Bible is God’s word and is infallible, there are people in there that are not infallible. They made wrong choices that were rebellious. God doesn’t always seem to address them specifically because there is something bigger usually going on. Regardless if they are not always addressed it is always clear that when something is done that is not in line with God’s desires (eg. Abram sleeping with Hagar and birthing Ishmael) God is merciful, but that doesn’t alter His plan. Hagar birthing Ishmael from Abram’s seed didn’t make Ishmael part of the line that would become Israel. Man’s choices cannot alter God’s sovereignty.
We can apply the truth that man cannot alter God’s sovereignty to nearly all the men who were father’s in Jesus’ line. So what have we learned so far and how does it relate to sex?
Well, the big picture is that really it’s not all about sex. There is always a lot more going on and as much as we start with sexuality in order to better understand all of its friends (refer to this post to understand that reference) we start with Scripture to understand sexuality. This means we will bunny trail into other things that effect the way we function. Sexuality is just one aspect of who we are, not the all encompassing, centre of our being. That centre, as Christians and Jesus followers become more aware of each and every day, is our Lord Christ Himself.
To read the introduction piece to this Bible series be sure to read Sexuality and All Its Friends
the rambling missionary 