by erika haveman
As many of you are aware, today is Halloween. Regardless of whether or not you are participating in the event you can probably agree with me that there is one really, really great thing about Halloween: the day after candy sales. Am I right? I once bought a 2LB bag of Rockets (Smarties, for you Americans) on November 1, and it lasted me over a year. In fact I think it lasted over 2 years. It was amazing. Cheap, day after candy makes Halloween an event worth having every year, in my opinion. There’s something else to the day, though, that makes me wish, every year without fail, that this day didn’t exist. No, it’s not the fact that it can be evil and a day to engage with dark things – though this is not something I support. For the majority of people Halloween is about getting dressed up and eating junk food. The junk food sales I can get behind. It’s the getting dressed up part that always gets me nervous.
Why? Because inevitably, every year, there is someone I know who dresses like a skank. I’m just saying it like it is. Usually there is more than one post on my Facebook wall or Instagram feed of someone I know who is dressed with their boobs hanging out or their butt covered, but completely exposed because of some tight fabric. I would like to say that the people don’t know Jesus, but more often than not it’s someone who only a few social media posts earlier has praised Jesus or quoted Scripture or I’ve heard recently share about their faith. I know we live in a fallen world, and the Lord knows I’m guilty of craving unwarranted attention with my body and praising Him one minute and using the same lips to speak ill of someone or something the next, but I wish I lived in a world where we could all just:
1. Straight up call each other out, and
2. Not care to expose ourselves.
Why is it that our sexuality is something that we all find so fascinating? Why is that when I’ve dressed in a way that exposes more of my body than is entirely necessary I feel better about myself? I can bet that most girls who’ve dressed in costumes that are all spandex and cleavage have done so because it makes them feel sexy. They would claim that they don’t do it for attention. It just makes them confident. Sure, I get confidence. I get feeling good and comfortable in your own skin. But since when did feeling comfortable in your own skin equate to baring it all? I’ve written about that before here. Regardless of whether or not you have justified away the exposition of your own body I would rather see us use our bodies to glorify God and others. And when my cleavage is the first thing anybody notices I’m not sure someone is bound to think about Jesus.
Now don’t get me wrong – I know that regularly the way we dress most people aren’t thinking, “Oh that girl is not exposed in any way; she must be a Jesus follower!” However when most of my body is exposed, it is my body that is going to be more noticed. The only exception to this might be when you’re at a beach (because everyone is exposing their bodies). But I’m not going to get into summer wear right now. I’m supposed to be focusing on what the book of Numbers says about our sexuality.
Numbers 25 records an incident where Israelite men are sleeping with foreign women, worshiping the foreign gods. In fact after Moses proclaims that God is going to put to death these men who have slept with Moabite prostitutes, an Israelite man invites a Midianite woman into his family’s tent. This isn’t a nice, open invitation to a dinner party. This man has invited the woman into his home for sex. Sex was used as a form of worship to different gods in the surrounding cultures. When Phinehas, one of the Levitical priests, hears about the man and the Midianite woman, he takes a spear, goes into the tent, and drives the spear through the man and the Midianite woman. Women in the surrounding cultures used seduction to lead astray God’s chosen people. God hated sexual immorality so much that death was the only appropriate solution to stopping the problem.
Do you realize, then, how much we live under the banner of grace because of Jesus? If Jesus had not come, if Jesus had not taken death meant for us, none of us would exist right now and we’d be burning in hell.
Jesus’ death, however, does not give us the right to abuse our own lives. Grace doesn’t mean that I can use seduction and act sexually immoral just because the death price has been paid. Grace means that I recognize the cost and I submit to walking in holiness because I know the cost is too much for me to pay. Practically this means not walking in the way of seduction or sexual immorality. Halloween should not be used as an excuse to expose your body. Every other day of the year should not be used to expose your body either, but for some reason this event always brings out something different in many of us. And that something different usually comes in the form of excessive cleavage.
If we were gracious enough in giving and receiving I would more often straight up call out the women I know who tend to expose themselves. Recently the best I could do was unfollow someone on Instagram. But God makes it clear in Numbers that He has high standards for His people, and by all means He expects them to follow those standards. In Numbers 33 God’s instructions to the people entering the Promised Land is that they are to drive all the inhabitants of the land, destroy all the idols, and demolish the high places (where temples were and subsequently temple prostitution took place). In Numbers 33:55-56 God warns the people that if Israel does not drive out all the foreigners then they would fall away from God. He exclaims that the foreigners would becomes “barbs in your eyes and thorns in your flesh.” In other words, the nations that are meant for destruction would seduce Israel, and Israel would fall away from God.
There are times I expose my body in some obvious way (and you all know what I mean by obvious. Don’t play dumb on me. Sure there are moments when you wear something and you aren’t aware that you’ve exposed something maybe more than you should have. But there are many moments when you are very aware and you aren’t justified in the exposition of your body. It’s those moments to which I am referencing.) When I’ve exposed my body intentionally it is never acceptable. When I present myself seductively I’m choosing to become a “barb in someone’s eye or a thorn in someone’s flesh.” As a member of God’s family why would I ever stoop this low? Seriously. Why?
Right now I’m talking to the ladies. I know that guys need to own it and be responsible for where their eyes roam and how they choose to react, but realistically ladies we can help with this. No, it is not your fault when a man lusts, but it is your responsibility to present yourself in a way that reflects God’s holiness. Be aware of the difference between exposing your body and looking refined. If you can’t figure it out on your own, ask your friends. Ask your husband. Ask someone you trust. But let’s all work together to stop exposing our bodies and be bold to call each other out – and when we’re the one receiving the discipline to receive it with grace. And then go put on something that is a little less distracting.
This is part of a series going through the entire Bible to offer you a bigger picture on God’s standards for sexuality. The opening post can be found here.
the rambling missionary 