of things this missionary will tell you [Part 1]

by erika haveman

You know what bothers me? When I hear people complain that they are misunderstood – but they haven’t explained themselves.

I’ve found that I encounter a specific group of people who often feel like they’ve experienced so much of the world and going home stresses them out because “nobody understands what I’ve been through.” On one hand, yes, you are right in saying that you’ve experienced much of the world. On the other hand, what makes you think people who are still at home haven’t also had experiences that may be hard to understand?

When I first got into missions about 4 years ago I entered a season much like pregnancy. 9 months of growth, complete with nausea, awkward pains, and great anticipation of the season ending. However my “pregnancy” didn’t quite end like that as God kept pulling me back into missions. Here I am, 4 years later, and I’m about to re-embark on a journey to Montana to re-join YWAM and work there as someone training, teaching, and sending missionaries overseas while occasionally teaching overseas myself.

One thing I’m learning about missions is that I can’t be looking at me for anything. I’ve got to keep my focus on Jesus.

I recently read an article about things that “missionaries won’t tell you.” I’m not linking the article because, quite frankly, I’m embarrassed and upset by it. I felt like the article had underlying resentment towards anybody and everybody who wasn’t a missionary, and I just don’t think that’s at all fair. Sure, missionary kids don’t have typical upbringings. Sure, missionaries need to raise their own support. Sure, being a missionary can be lonely. Sure, returning to your “home” from your “home” can be hard. Sure, not everybody will understand. Sure, you may feel judged for taking a holiday. These things may feel like a reality, but I strongly feel that by looking at my situation as opposed to looking at God I will back myself into a hole that’s deep enough to convince me that I’m some sort of weird victim.

So here’s my list of things that me, as a missionary, will tell you. There is hope and excitement in being a missionary, and no the journey into this has not been easy, but since when has anything good been easy? I know I’ve said that before, and I know I’ve said, “But Jesus is worth it,” too. I stand by that truth and reality.

I’ve separated my list into two posts, because it got longer than I expected (or didn’t expect. Let’s be real, we all know I have no problem using too many words). Here’s the first 3 things I’d like to share with you. The other 7 will come next week.

I have not felt lonely or ostracized by my family, friends, or home church community.
One of the points in the article that really upset me was essentially suggesting that family and friends from where you were born and raised and sent from had forgotten you. I do not believe this for one second. Before I suggest people have forgotten me I need to hold myself to the candle and say, “Have I forgotten them?” If I have, I cannot sit here and get upset if they have forgotten me. I daresay they haven’t, and I know their prayers are the things that get me through some day. As a missionary I get to experience the joy of someone else’s prayers, and I get to invest in others back home by remembering and praying for them.
I’ve felt the uncomfortable twist in the pit of my stomach when I’ve asked for support, but I certainly don’t resent those who don’t support me financially.
One of the most difficult hills I’ve had to climb was the one towards financial partnerships. I’ve heard it said hundreds of times, “Just pray! The Lord will provide!” Yes, God is faithful. Yes, God is provider. But what I am doing, actively doing, about my financial shortage as a missionary? I do not believe at all that God wants missionaries to function out of a deficit. I also believe that when God calls someone to be a missionary He will provide. What I think we miss is our role in receiving that provision. It is a partnership between God and man, which means I have the responsibility of putting in effort, hours, and awkward conversations, phone calls, or emails asking for support. I still have support I need to finish raising even though I’ve been working at this for over a year. Yet receiving support is a constantly humbling experience, and it has absolutely amazed me to see that it’s always God that does it. I feel like some missionaries maybe think that if they ask people then that makes them responsible for their own provision. I’ve seen, time and again, God provide from left field when I’ve asked all the people sitting in right field. What was important for me to do was ask. God asks me to ask and He brings the answers. Always.
I’m familiar with culture shock.
I realize that in missions we move around a lot. We call it transition. This is something not everyone has done, but that doesn’t mean everyone hasn’t experienced some sort of upheaval that changes everything. Moving to a new city for college, a loss of a dearly loved one, a new job with coworkers that are crazy, a brand new child into a family – the list could go on. Real life means transition whether we call it transition or not. What’s important for all of us is, reflecting #1, to somehow stay involved with each other. This is most easily done in prayer, and in this day and age we have no excuse not to shoot someone a text, Facebook message, Snapchat etc… telling them we’ve sent a prayer their way. Sometimes as missionaries we’re in closed nations and we can’t communicate. That’s the exception to this suggestion.