of things this missionary will tell you [Part 2]

by erika haveman

Last week I decided that I wanted to start sharing with you some things about being a missionary. I share these things because I don’t want you to feel far away, and like you I appreciate feeling known. I’d love to understand more of your life, but all I can do, for now, is write about mine. I shared the first 3 things (though the list is no particular order of importance) and this week I’ll share the final 7. To recap, the first 3 things I shared are included, though not explained, in the list below.

I have not felt lonely or ostracized by my family, friends, or home church community.
I’ve felt the uncomfortable twist in the pit of my stomach when I’ve asked for support, but I certainly don’t resent those who don’t support me financially.
I’m familiar with culture shock.
I sometimes judge others.
Yes, I do that. Chances are others judge me too. We’re all broken, and we all fall victim to thinking we’re better than the next person, or thinking that the next person should do things a different way. When this happens all I can do is give my brain a swift kick, and remind myself that I’m defined by Jesus. Nothing else defines me. If that’s the case with me, it’s the case with you. I can’t judge you, even if my sinful nature leads me into brokenness from time to time. Thank the Lord for grace, and the little voice in my head inviting me to change the thought something unruly to something grace filled.
I’m glad you chose to invest in me.
Anybody who prays for me, supports me financially, maintains a friendship with me, or bothers to talk to me when I’m home are people who have invested in me. I’m grateful that people care. I’ve heard that often missionaries feel like they have something to prove because they need to really show people that what they’re doing is for the Kingdom. This is sad. Recently I heard a sermon that talked about carrying baggage up and down a steep hill all in the effort to rid oneself of the baggage when the truth was the baggage was brokenness, and that brokenness can only be taken by Jesus. We’d all agree that Jesus takes our brokenness. Do we let Jesus take the ministries we’re involved with? Do we let him have our financial burdens? If I feel like someone no longer cares to invest in me then I need to ask myself, “How did I last invest in them?”
I go on holiday’s, just to let you know.
When we’ve worked hard, what do we do? We take a break. Missionaries should do the same. When we’ve taken that break and it was a really good time, what do we do? We share about it. Missionaries should do the same.
Separation from loved ones is hard for all of us.
Goodbyes can be really hard. Distance isn’t easy. We miss moments in each other’s lives. Not to trivialize anybody’s situation, especially those who are far from loved ones for a long time, but please, please when somebody tries to empathize with your situation receive those words with grace. No, it may not be the same as your situation, but their empathy towards your is real. When I say, “I understand,” or “I know how you feel,” chances are I do. I’m going to believe you if you say the same thing. Thank you for trusting me with how your heart has felt the sadness of missing the ones you love, and thank you for hearing mine, too.
I don’t have kids but if I did, regardless of my career and life situation, I’d compare them on social media to your kids.
I’ve heard from all many of my friends with kids that they compare their “success” as parents to other parents. Sadly, this is more normalized than ever with social media. If I had kids and they were growing up somewhere that didn’t allow them to play in hockey leagues or have vocal lessons I would hope that I was still opening the door wide enough for them to be exposed to playing pick up soccer on a wide patch of dirt, singing their lungs out (hopefully off key with the wrong words) in a jungle, or eating with their hands every meal. Every parent I know does the best for their children. That may look different depending on the culture you’re in, but it doesn’t change the fact that parent’s have their kid’s best interests at heart while raising their babes.
When I come home, I want to spend time with you.
You may now have another child or a new house or your van just quit or your career has changed. Regardless, both our lives will have shifted. I want to hear about the shifts, the challenges, the triumphs, the hurt. Thank you for always letting me jump back into your world. Please, also, attempt to jump into mine. One thing I personally love are questions that are more than, “How was [insert country or whatever here]?” I promise to not ask you such broad questions if you promise not to ask me those broad questions either.
I’m just like you. You’re just like me.
Finally, we’re all called to make disciples – and sometimes we get upset in the process. Just because I somehow have to live in the title of missionary doesn’t make either of us less than that. We’re all missionaries – and we’re all human. The truth is there are going to be many days when my missionary life looks like washing dishes, cleaning offices, responding to emails, getting into arguments, and drinking coffee. There are many other days when I’m teaching the Bible, preaching the Gospel, and praying for people. Regardless of what I’m doing I’m called to do it all in grace, love, and kindness. Jesus has all of us where we are, doing what we’re doing, because He’s in all of it and has great plans for us there. The goal of this life is to spread the love of Jesus with the world in all we do and say. Don’t shy from this incredible calling! You have the ability, the strength, the courage, and the perfect placement to share the love of Jesus with your world.

I hope you’ve found some encouragement, as well as gained some insight into my world and headspace of being a “missionary.” I still sometimes have a hard time owning this title. In fact I was visiting a local church recently whose Pastor and wife support me. The Pastor thought it would be good to share what I do in case any members of his Parish were also able to support me. After giving my little blurb, shaking hands with lots of kind people and chatting up several people who were distance acquaintances I left church. On my drive home I realized I never once actually said I was missionary. Why do I “forget” this? Because of #10. I am where I am embracing the often uncomfortable and awkward but also joy filled job I have been called to by God. You, also, are where you are and hopefully also embracing whatever uncomfortable, awkward, messy, loud, crazy, hard but also hopefully joy, grace, love, and hope filled job that you’ve also been called to.

You’ve got this because your eyes are on Him. I’ll try to keep mine their with you and together we can know He’s got it all.