What Keeps You Going?

by erika haveman

If you haven’t ever noticed let me tell you something about me: I’m pretty passionate about living a life that’s not defined by “busy.” I believe in balance, and life isn’t “busy,” it’s just life. We work 9-5, and those hours should be filled with work. This isn’t busy, it’s just fulfilling the obligations of your responsibilities. From 5 until bedtime many of you have to continue in more obligations: parenting, worship practice, maintaining a social life, serving on your local council, or you can fill in your own blank. You spend time in the evenings also working. I get it. But is this what makes me busy, or does this make me a human with a life?

As I mentioned last week, one thing I do appreciate about social media is the ability to stay in touch with old friends. While messaging one of them recently I was inspired to ask, “What’s been keeping you going?” If I had spoken that line out loud it probably would have sounded like this: “What’s been keeping you bus-going?” It’s so natural for me to assume they’ll tell me they’re busy (not specifically this person, but people in general), that I’ll feed into that life with my question. Asking, “What’s keeping you going?” I felt put a positive spin on life, as if we should be challenging each other to embrace the good rather than glorify the busy. I followed up that question with, “What’s been inspiring you lately?”

Really, people, what’s been inspiring you? What motivates you to keep working that 9-5? What inspires you to keep parenting? Some of it, of course, is necessity. But let’s forget necessity and forget busy for a minute. Why do you do what you do? Why is your life good? What inspires you to look beyond yourself and get that job done well? Because at some point you chose what you have now. Maybe you didn’t choose to get pregnant now, but you chose to keep that child, bring them into the world and raise them. For the most part, however, you’ve chosen the life you have now. Why?

If perspective shifting was a value it would be one of mine. I know I’ve talked recently about following my own schedule to a T, and this easily gets me in the same mindset every day of just doing life rather than embracing and living life with a joyful excitement!

On clear, sunny days at work the view from my desk shows me the tip of a mountain in the distance. Every so often in my day I’ll pause and just look out the window. I’ll watch the wind rustle through the tops of the trees and the clouds slowly float by and stare at that beautiful mountain and just choose to love that moment. I’ll remind myself that what I do day in and day out is a privilege worth embracing. Following Jesus day in and day out is worth it – whether I’m bagging groceries or writing lectures or selling toner (shout out to all the Phoebe Buffay’s of the world).

Now look, I’m not perfect when it comes to not being busy. I don’t have all the answers, I just act like it. Fake it til you make it, right? My past few weeks I’ve been fighting to not use the phrase, “I’m so busy,” simply because I think saying it perpetuates the problem in my head. But my last few weeks I’ve scheduled something every night after work, and I’m realizing that I need at least one night a week to myself (being a social introvert who is an 8 on the Enneagram it’s easy for me to forget that I’m human and have limits). However, what I think helps me keep balance is that I do things with intentionality.

A few years back I had an incredible woman mentoring me. When she was mentoring me it was my season of life when I was working 80+ hours a week. That was an unhealthy season. My answer to everything was, “Sure I’ll do it!” in one breath and, “Yeah life is busy!” in the next. What this woman challenged me on was using a calendar and scheduling my week. At the time I asked her, “Won’t this make me way too OCD?” Her response was, “No, this makes you organized.” I have always loved being organized, but I was literally so worried of being perceived as insane that I didn’t schedule my life. I quickly got over that, and realized that when I scheduled out even the hours of my day I had more time. I started to find balance. I started to see that saying no was a good thing, and life slowly (slowly) settled into something of a beautiful balance that actually freed me up to follow Jesus with an abandon I’d only ever heard other people speak of.

I don’t plan my 5 years down the road, but I intentionally plan my weeks, I write them down in a calendar, and I try to always give me one night for me. Even when I’ve scheduled too much I recognize I did that. My intentionality sometimes misses the no, but that doesn’t mean the world implodes. I do say no when I see that there will be too much, and I say yes when I believe the investment I make will be a good one, whether for me or for someone else. I keep my weekends generally unplanned which gives me the flexibility to say yes to my more spontaneous friends and even for me to then challenge myself to be spontaneous (which is definitely a challenge).

So what keeps you going? What inspires you? What’s the “stop and smell the roses” moment in your day? How do you live a balanced life? I’d love to hear some of your thoughts – you’re always putting up with mine, and I’m sure your thoughts would inspire me!