by erika haveman

There’s a first time for everything, they say.  It was on this trip I took last summer that I experienced a first.

I do a lot of travelling for my job as a missionary.  Checking into flights, dealing with ticket agents, going though security screenings, answering customs questions are all very normal and cause very little anxiety nowadays.  There’s always a reason for protocol and there’s always a civilized way of dealing with things.  Unfortunately I had a not so civil experience in mid 2017 that led to a break down in a bathroom stall where I could not stop crying.

The tears had already started as I made my way through US Customs.  I suddenly had little care for my entering the USA, only the second time on my newest visa which could be an occasion for my nerves to be on high alert and for anxiety to make my heart pound.  However, I was so upset that I had no concern whether or not I’d get a border guard who was going to give me a hard time.  Thankfully the gracious US customs agent must have seen the tears welling in my eyes as it became increasingly difficult for me to answer her simple questions and she let me through with no issues.

Continue reading “of crying in airport bathrooms”

by erika haveman

I read something on social media the other day and it said, “Surround yourself with people that make you happy.”

Although I can appreciate the sentiment and heart of the statement, I actually found myself slightly grieved.  When did we become a culture that lives to make ourselves happy?  Maybe this is always the way it’s been.  I don’t think we should live to make ourselves sad, but is being happy really the best we can do?  As believers, I think we can do far better.

Years ago when I was attending a girls club at my church called GEMS there was a song we’d sing about encouraging one another and building each other up.    It was based off of 1 Thessalonians 5:11, and as I consider what is better than simply surrounding myself with people who make me happy this verse comes to mind.

Continue reading “of surrounding yourself with people that don’t make you happy”

by erika haveman

Most of you know I’m a youth ministry person through and through.  I have absolutely loved getting to walk with several youth (if you’ve been one of my youth and you’re reading this, you can know that I’m beyond grateful for all you’ve allowed me to see in you!)  Recently, though, I’ve found myself drawn to a very different crowd: senior citizens.

For the past few years I’ve made friends with quite a few people well past retirement age.  I think it started when I worked at a cafe and my regulars in the mornings were all people I could consider my grandparents.  They always had quirky stories to share and knew how to make me laugh.  They would always distract me from my work and never quite know when to stop talking.  I embraced this about them and I felt like they made me a more patient, kind, and loving person.

Summer 2017 I again found myself drawn to several older people that I met who were working on the YWAM base for the summer.  They were beyond being empty nesters and more the kind of birds that fly south for the winter.  Any time I would eat a meal in the cafeteria on the YWAM base I would insist on sitting with my wise old owl type friends.  I couldn’t quite figure out what it was I loved about them so much until I read a post on Instagram around mid October of 2017.

Continue reading “of loving to talk to seniors”

by erika haveman

Last week I decided that I wanted to start sharing with you some things about being a missionary.  I share these things because I don’t want you to feel far away, and like you I appreciate feeling known.  I’d love to understand more of your life, but all I can do, for now, is write about mine.  I shared the first 3 things (though the list is no particular order of importance) and this week I’ll share the final 7.  To recap, the first 3 things I shared are included, though not explained, in the list below.

1.  I have not felt lonely or ostracized by my family, friends, or home church community.
2. I’ve felt the uncomfortable twist in the pit of my stomach when I’ve asked for support, but I certainly don’t resent those who don’t support me financially.
3. I’m familiar with culture shock.
4. I sometimes judge others.
   Yes, I do that.  Chances are others judge me too.  We’re all broken, and we all fall victim to thinking we’re better than the next person, or thinking that the next person should do things a different way.  When this happens all I can do is give my brain a swift kick, and remind myself that I’m defined by Jesus.  Nothing else defines me.  If that’s the case with me, it’s the case with you.  I can’t judge you, even if my sinful nature leads me into brokenness from time to time.  Thank the Lord for grace, and the little voice in my head inviting me to change the thought something unruly to something grace filled.
5. I’m glad you chose to invest in me.
   Anybody who prays for me, supports me financially, maintains a friendship with me, or bothers to talk to me when I’m home are people who have invested in me.  I’m grateful that people care.  I’ve heard that often missionaries feel like they have something to prove because they need to really show people that what they’re doing is for the Kingdom.  This is sad.  Recently I heard a sermon that talked about carrying baggage up and down a steep hill all in the effort to rid oneself of the baggage when the truth was the baggage was brokenness, and that brokenness can only be taken by Jesus.  We’d all agree that Jesus takes our brokenness.  Do we let Jesus take the ministries we’re involved with?  Do we let him have our financial burdens?  If I feel like someone no longer cares to invest in me then I need to ask myself, “How did I last invest in them?”
6. I go on holiday’s, just to let you know.
   When we’ve worked hard, what do we do?  We take a break.  Missionaries should do the same.  When we’ve taken that break and it was a really good time, what do we do?  We share about it.  Missionaries should do the same.
7.  Separation from loved ones is hard for all of us.
   Goodbyes can be really hard.  Distance isn’t easy.  We miss moments in each other’s lives.  Not to trivialize anybody’s situation, especially those who are far from loved ones for a long time, but please, please when somebody tries to empathize with your situation receive those words with grace.  No, it may not be the same as your situation, but their empathy towards your is real.  When I say, “I understand,” or “I know how you feel,” chances are I do.  I’m going to believe you if you say the same thing.  Thank you for trusting me with how your heart has felt the sadness of missing the ones you love, and thank you for hearing mine, too.
8. I don’t have kids but if I did, regardless of my career and life situation, I’d compare them on social media to your kids.
   I’ve heard from all many of my friends with kids that they compare their “success” as parents to other parents.  Sadly, this is more normalized than ever with social media.  If I had kids and they were growing up somewhere that didn’t allow them to play in hockey leagues or have vocal lessons I would hope that I was still opening the door wide enough for them to be exposed to playing pick up soccer on a wide patch of dirt, singing their lungs out (hopefully off key with the wrong words) in a jungle, or eating with their hands every meal.  Every parent I know does the best for their children.  That may look different depending on the culture you’re in, but it doesn’t change the fact that parent’s have their kid’s best interests at heart while raising their babes.
9.  When I come home, I want to spend time with you.
   You may now have another child or a new house or your van just quit or your career has changed.  Regardless, both our lives will have shifted.  I want to hear about the shifts, the challenges, the triumphs, the hurt.  Thank you for always letting me jump back into your world.  Please, also, attempt to jump into mine.  One thing I personally love are questions that are more than, “How was [insert country or whatever here]?”  I promise to not ask you such broad questions if you promise not to ask me those broad questions either.
10. I’m just like you.  You’re just like me.
    Finally, we’re all called to make disciples – and sometimes we get upset in the process.  Just because I somehow have to live in the title of missionary doesn’t make either of us less than that.  We’re all missionaries – and we’re all human.  The truth is there are going to be many days when my missionary life looks like washing dishes, cleaning offices, responding to emails, getting into arguments, and drinking coffee.  There are many other days when I’m teaching the Bible, preaching the Gospel, and praying for people.  Regardless of what I’m doing I’m called to do it all in grace, love, and kindness.  Jesus has all of us where we are, doing what we’re doing, because He’s in all of it and has great plans for us there.  The goal of this life is to spread the love of Jesus with the world in all we do and say.  Don’t shy from this incredible calling!  You have the ability, the strength, the courage, and the perfect placement to share the love of Jesus with your world.

Continue reading “of things this missionary will tell you [Part 2]”

by erika haveman

You know what bothers me?  When I hear people complain that they are misunderstood – but they haven’t explained themselves.

I’ve found that I encounter a specific group of people who often feel like they’ve experienced so much of the world and going home stresses them out because “nobody understands what I’ve been through.”  On one hand, yes, you are right in saying that you’ve experienced much of the world.  On the other hand, what makes you think people who are still at home haven’t also had experiences that may be hard to understand?

When I first got into missions about 4 years ago I entered a season much like pregnancy.  9 months of growth, complete with nausea, awkward pains, and great anticipation of the season ending.  However my “pregnancy” didn’t quite end like that as God kept pulling me back into missions.  Here I am, 4 years later, and I’m about to re-embark on a journey to Montana to re-join YWAM and work there as someone training, teaching, and sending missionaries overseas while occasionally teaching overseas myself.

Continue reading “of things this missionary will tell you [Part 1]”

by erika haveman

Here’s my most recent moment of being open and broken: I’m naturally inclined to laziness.  Sure, sometimes I need to recharge and yes spontaneity tends to exhaust me more than excite me.  That’s just self awareness.  But often I’ll take the easy road called laziness.  Laziness isn’t just oversleeping or always eating fast food.  It can simply be doing things at 50% when you’ve been created to do things in His strength at 100%.

I’ve been in Ontario for about 3 weeks now and I leave again in 2 weeks.  Since getting back a fundamental shift has started in my brain and body.  I’d like to call that shift inspiration.

Continue reading “of quitting the lazy”