by erika haveman

I don’t know about you but if you follow Jesus it’s hard to run from the blatant sexual immorality that exists in our culture.  It seeps into just about every aspect of media – social and regular – and the old adage never seems to die: sex sells.  While this is incredibly disheartening for those of us trying to live a life of redeeming sexual ethics I thought I would point out something that recently struck me as continuing to exist as a Christian value while the rest of the world seems to be falling apart when it comes to sex and relationships.  The concept I’m talking about here is “cheating.”

We all know what it means.  The definition has never really shifted when it comes to relationships, regardless of sexual orientation or more serious stage of relationship (decided upon exclusive relationship to marriage).  We can all agree that it’s often obvious when someone has cheated on their significant other.  Key word here being significant other – I’m not talking you’re just dating someone, sitting somewhere in that funny place between more than friends but not yet committed to boyfriend/girlfriend, because dating, to me, doesn’t mean that person is your significant other yet.  They may well be on their way to becoming that, but they’re not.  I understand people will disagree with me on what defines dating and how committed people should be, but just play along with me okay, people?  I’ve written a whole other post about the phases of relationship, and it can be found here.  Please read that before you attack this small definition and miss the point of this post.

Continue reading “Inherently Christian Values in an Inherently [Sexually] Broken Culture”

by erika haveman

I think trusting Jesus is as simple as it sounds.

I don’t think I’m anything special or arrogant to share this story, because if I don’t recount it I know my friend would do it for me – she likes to remind me of it from time to time.  A couple years back this friend and I were discussing the logistics for feeding icecream to a 1,000 rowdy teenagers.  She’s a brilliant planner and organizer and it didn’t take much verbal processing to figure out the plan of setting up tables and serving the delicious cold dessert.  What concerned her the most was whether or not the icecream would run out before all the kids got their treat.  Without even thinking I responded to her anxiety by saying, “Did you read the story about what Jesus did with the fish and the loaves?”  To me there was no doubt in my mind that this task of feeding icecream to bottomless pit youths was part of God’s plan, so obviously God was going to be faithful.  In fact we’d probably have leftovers (which I think we did).

When it comes to looking at other people’s lives, ministry I’m leading or teachings I’m giving I have no doubt that God will come through.  Why?  Because He’s God.  If I am submitting myself to Him with all of my life – offering myself as a living sacrifice – why wouldn’t my offering be accepted and blessed?  I don’t always do it perfectly and I undoubtedly fail often, but my efforts never detract from God’s accomplishments.  Why?  Because He is the one who is literally do all of it anyways.

Continue reading “Is Trusting Jesus as Simple as it Sounds?”

by erika haveman

Last week I may have ruffled a few feathers when I boldly stated at the end of my post we often ask, “Jesus, what do you have for me?”  and “Jesus, what can you give me?”

If I’m being honest, I know I’ve done this a lot.  These questions do have a place – Jesus says seek me and you will find me.  But are we seeking Jesus or are we seeking benefits for our lives?  The aforementioned questions come out of a place that says I am struggling to trust Jesus, which is human and very real.  I think it’s way easy to get caught up in these questions and miss the joys He has set before us to help us run the race with strength.  In Hebrews 12 it talks about how we need to set aside the weights that hold us back, to run the race with endurance.  WHY?  Because JESUS endured the cross so we could have JOY.  Jesus endured the cross so that WE could be sacrifices meant to live and breathe and have our being in Him and not sacrifices meant for death.  The questions we ask may not be bad, but they may be stopping us from choosing the joy set before us.

Even Jesus did not want to endure the cross – He begged for it to be taken from Him (Luke 22:42).  But He did it BECAUSE He could see the JOY.  The JOY of restoring broken relationship between God and man.  The JOY of restoring broken relationship between humans.  The JOY of restoring broken relationship between people and creation.

When I am wondering, “JESUS WHERE ARE YOU?” do I consider the JOY to which He is bringing me?  Do I consider the JOY that He gave me in the past?

Continue reading “What brings you JOY [Pt.2]”

by erika haveman

I realize I’ve been silent for quite some time.  It’s not that Jesus hasn’t been.  I just have been.  Recently, however, I was absolutely humbled to meet a reader who shared with me that a number of my blogs had helped him through a season of his life.  I just have to say it is always a shock to me that anybody reads what I write.  God is truly amazing and why He would dare use a sinner such as myself is way beyond me.

Over the past little while I’ve been trying to stay fixated on the wonder of who God is.  It’s been random Bible verses calling me back to all of who Jesus is.  It’s been random thoughts that challenge me to embrace my present as opposed to think about my future.  It’s been hearing sermons following my train of thought when I wasn’t even planning on showing up to church.  God has just been proving Himself so faithful!  Again and again, time after time I question why He cares so much.  A lot of it has been so inspiring!  But then I get home from church or I get up after I read my Bible and rather than pull open my laptop to write I check my Facebook messages or if it has been enough hours for me collect my latest bonus on the myvegas app then I do that instead.  Enough of that nonsense.  Here’s to finding joy in the things God gifted me to find joy in.

Continue reading “What brings you JOY? [Pt.1]”

by erika haveman

If you haven’t ever noticed let me tell you something about me: I’m pretty passionate about living a life that’s not defined by “busy.”  I believe in balance, and life isn’t “busy,” it’s just life.  We work 9-5, and those hours should be filled with work.  This isn’t busy, it’s just fulfilling the obligations of your responsibilities.  From 5 until bedtime many of you have to continue in more obligations: parenting, worship practice, maintaining a social life, serving on your local council, or you can fill in your own blank.  You spend time in the evenings also working.  I get it.  But is this what makes me busy, or does this make me a human with a life?

As I mentioned last week, one thing I do appreciate about social media is the ability to stay in touch with old friends.  While messaging one of them recently I was inspired to ask, “What’s been keeping you going?”  If I had spoken that line out loud it probably would have sounded like this: “What’s been keeping you bus-going?”  It’s so natural for me to assume they’ll tell me they’re busy (not specifically this person, but people in general), that I’ll feed into that life with my question.  Asking, “What’s keeping you going?” I felt put a positive spin on life, as if we should be challenging each other to embrace the good rather than glorify the busy.  I followed up that question with, “What’s been inspiring you lately?”

Really, people, what’s been inspiring you?  What motivates you to keep working that 9-5?  What inspires you to keep parenting?  Some of it, of course, is necessity.  But let’s forget necessity and forget busy for a minute.  Why do you do what you do?  Why is your life good?  What inspires you to look beyond yourself and get that job done well?  Because at some point you chose what you have now.  Maybe you didn’t choose to get pregnant now, but you chose to keep that child, bring them into the world and raise them.  For the most part, however, you’ve chosen the life you have now.  Why?

Continue reading “What Keeps You Going?”

by erika haveman

Before the world of social media the hundreds, or thousands, or hundred thousands of your followers would never know what you were up to in a day.  It used to be that if you had a great hair day only the people you came in immediate contact with would have known it.  It used to be that you’d go to the beach and shockingly run into that old friend from summer camp.  It used to be that if you went to the Jays game you wouldn’t know your neighbour was there until a few days later when you were talking and put it all together.  The reality is we no longer actually need human interaction because we can find out everything we need to know about each other through Instagram.

My first Instagram post was on April 1, 2012 – and it wasn’t even an April fools joke.  When I look back on my first Insta-posts the filters I chose were awful, but my reason for posting was the same as it often is now.  My hope was that my life would be presented as something interesting, I’d be seen as more attractive, and I’d be perceived as a really great person.  “My life and myself and my strong work ethic are something worth being noticed by people,” was what my mind was telling me when I would open Instagram.  I remember being really disappointed when I’d only get a couple of likes on a photo.  It didn’t make sense to me – I had over 100 followers and I’m only getting 4 likes?  What, am I not likeable?  How do I need to present myself and my life as more attractive so more people like me?  Even then something about social media was telling me I simply wasn’t good enough if people weren’t giving me the affirmation I expected.

Continue reading “If It’s Not On Instagram, Did It Even Happen?”

by erika haveman

Is it just me, or in specifically the Christian world, do people not go on dates unless they think they can marry the other person?  This is typically what I observe, and most people I talk to about dating (who are Christians) will often say, “I can’t go out with them because I don’t know if they’re someone I want to be with forever.”  Well guess what?  It’s your lucky day!  Dates are actually meant for you to help figure out whether or not you want to spend more time with another person.  In a perfect world I would love to see these 5 steps used loosely to help us relieve some of the “I can’t date you unless I know I want to marry you” pressure.

Continue reading “Let’s Date More”

by erika haveman

‘“About this time next year,” Elisha said, “you will hold a son in your arms.”
“No, my lord!” she objected. “Please, man of God, don’t mislead your servant!”
But the woman became pregnant, and the next year about that same time she gave birth to a son, just as Elisha had told her.’

This interaction can be found in 2 Kings 4 between Elisha and a woman from Shunem.  She had housed Elisha and to thank her Elisha asked what he could do for her.  She was quite settled and didn’t need anything, but Elisha’s servant informed him that she was barren.  When Elisha realized what she desired and how it was something only a sovereign God could do, he made a bold promise.  In doing so he was offering her a hope that she had long stopped believing could exist for her.  Her reaction is very human, and it’s one of fear.  A similar reaction is seen in Sarai when she’s told she’ll have a son, only her disbelief is expressed in a mocking laughter.  Both reactions are incredibly human, and while I’m not convinced these stories should be used to prove that God makes barren women capable of conceiving (though He certainly is able), I think we can all see a piece of ourselves in the women.

As I studied the story in Kings a little while ago I connected with the lack of hope these women had.  I started to realize for so long that I saw hope as something that falls into the sphere of being positive.  While some could continue to argue that, I am going to suggest that hope is deeper than just a positive way of thinking.  This isn’t mean to sound negative, because hope is certainly not that either, but hope is terrifying.

Continue reading “Hope is Terrifying”

by erika haveman

For the past few weeks I’ve tried to get us thinking critically about beauty and value.  I’ll be honest, most of my blogs are a result of two things: what God is teaching me and “social research”.  While the former is easily understood the latter may need some explanation.  Social research are conversations I’ve intentionally had in order to gauge people’s opinions on different subjects.  Usually those subjects surround the topics most often found on my blog, of course.  Some people may discount this approach, but I’ve often stumbled upon some of the wisest people with greater brilliance than I while I’ve invested myself in my social research.

When I brought up the topic of beauty vs value to a friend she had some interesting insight, something I hadn’t thought of. She suggested that if one isn’t getting their value from beauty they are probably getting it from what they do.  It was a comment that shocked me only because I had never thought of it.  This is why the social research is so important.  You should all try it.  Real, compelling conversation.  I think sometimes we shy away from it because it feels vulnerable (which it can be) and we’re also afraid we won’t have time to finish the conversation (which is silly because we can just continue it later).

Anyways.  Since her suggestion I started to observe that we may even find more value in ourselves by what we do over how beautiful we find ourselves.

Continue reading “Why Are You Valuable?”